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Six Indestructible Houseplants You Can’t Kill
By June Campbell
Does your reputation as a killer of houseplants precede you? Has each and every houseplant curled up and died shortly after coming under your care? If you’re the Nurse Ratchett of potted plants, there is good news. You’ve been trying to grow the wrong kind. Delicate houseplants that demand endless fussing are about as welcome at my place as house guests who demand yak milk and organic granola for breakfast. Toss them out and get yourself a few of these oh so hardy houseplants instead. Your brown thumb will turn green in no time. I know what I’m talking about here. My window garden used to be known as Death Row. Now its little green inhabitants are lifers.
Aluminum Plant (Pilea cadierei)
Even the name of this plant suggests its sturdy and rugged and here to stay. Coming from Vietnam, this short, busy plant has attractive, leaves that appear almost quilted. “Its flowers are small and insignificant,” sniffs one online botanical organization. Insignificant flowers or not, Aluminum Plant will grace your northern or eastern window quite nicely. It won’t be too happy with afternoon sun, so keep it away from the west and south. This plant would like you to keep it moist and water it a couple times a week. If you forget, and of course you will, it will collapse and sag like I would at the end of a five mile run, not that I'd ever go on a five mile run, but still! That need not worry you unduly. Give it a drink and you won’t believe how quickly this potted plant will perk up again. Oh, one more thing. This plant is phototropic, meaning it will grow towards the light source and become lopsided. If you don’t care for that look, simply turn it a quarter of a turn every time you water. Fertilize it in the summer months if you think of it. Baby’s Tears (Soleirolia soleirolii)
Coming from Sardinia, this plant is a member of the nettle family. It sounds like it may be a delicate flower, but believe me, it’s as persistent and determined as any screaming infant at three AM. The plant’s unusual appearance – low, spreading, and with thousands of tiny leaves—makes it a good choice to grow in a fancy little planter. No matter what you plant it in, in no time flat it will spread and fill the container, maybe even falling over the side. If it gets carried away, cut it back with scissors. In its natural environment, Baby’s Tears grow in a bog. Therefore, give it plenty of indirect light. Avoid south windows. This easy houseplant likes to be kept moist. If it dries out, it goes flat as a little green pancake. Like the Aluminum Plant, it will revive quickly after you water it. Chinese Evergreen (Aglaonema)
Wikipedia says these are “extremely tolerant plants that do well in a variety of settings.” That is exactly the sort of plant we like to welcome into our homes. So long as it has a little light and water, it’ll perform admirably. Stick it in a north window or a dismal corner and it’ll be fine. This is a pretty houseplant, as well as being indestructible, and comes in different varieties and color tones. Chinese evergreen has heart-shaped leaves growing at the end of stems. It may grow about three feet in height if it’s happy in your environment. You don’t even need a pot for these babies. You can cultivate them in a jar of water and they’ll grow.
Grape Ivy (Cissus rhombifolia)
This trailing plant hails from South America and the West Indies. It is not a true ivy, if that sort of thing matters to you, but the leaves do resemble poison ivy a little bit. This plant is beyond hardy. It survives almost anywhere – but it does best if you keep it out of direct sun, such as it might get in a southern window. It will grow in direct sun, but the leaves become coarser and less attractive. Water it a couple of times a week. As mentioned earlier, this plant is a trailer. It’s great in a hanging planter, or if you prefer, put it someplace where it can wrap its tendrils around almost any inanimate object and climb. Grape ivy loves to climb. Snake Plant (Sansevieria)
It’s almost impossible to kill this plant from Africa, short of tossing it over the balcony and hoping a car will run over it. Even then, it might find a way to survive. Put it anywhere. Water it every week or ten days and it’ll grow to a ripe old age. Snake plants grow tall, austere looking spiky leaves and may even produce flower clusters in time. If a leaf turns brown, as they tend to do from time to time, just cut it off or hack at it with a Xacto knife. These babies are tough. No wonder they sometimes call them Mother-in-Law plant. Oh, and its toxic so don’t let the kids or the cat chew on it.
Devil’s Ivy or Pothos (Epipremnum aureum ) Coming from the Solomon Islands, the stalwart and tenacious Devil’s Ivy plant produces long vines that generate ivy shaped leaves. Some of these plants are your basic green in color; others have variegated green and cream colored leaves. Your pothos plant is hardy enough to grow most anywhere, but it does best in bright light. Water it from time to time. If it dries out between waterings, no biggie. It’ll rally round when you remember to water it. Because of its vine-like nature, this plant works well in a hanging planter, or you can put it in a regular pot. The vines can grow very, very long if you permit them to. This is not such a good idea because the longer the vines, the fewer the leaves. Unless you’re fond of bare vines, cut them off at a sensible length and watch the leaves appear. Devil’s Ivy is another toxic plant so no nibbling. There you go. Six houseplants that will survive almost anything reasonable and perhaps even a few things that aren’t reasonable. That makes them perfect house guests, in my opinion. Happy Gardening
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Contributor's Note
I've eventually learned how to grow most houseplants (except orchids which continue to defy me by dying), but I've met my match on my south-facing balcony garden. Petunias survive there. Nothing else does.
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Poisonous House Plants
Devil's Ivy Growing in Pot
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Great intel, June. Something a lot of us probably need. I agree you can't kill those plants. They are very hardy and need little care.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Yep, they're ideal for those of us with a brown thumb. Thanks for posting.
Wow June, thanks! As someone who can kill any plant, I'm going to give some of these a try when I have an opportunity.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
You too? People used to say little plants trembled in fear when I approached. Thanks for commenting.
My Pathos and Snake plant are growing strong and that pleases me! The Chinese Evergreen sounds interesting. Thanks for this great intel June!
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Good luck with the Chinese Evergreen, not that you'll need luck. LOL Thanks for posting.
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